I Had a Dream I Was Skateboarding

I don’t have a path
Or a finish line to follow
Just a lot of self-doubt
And a life that is hollow

I wish I had a reason
Or just a board and a push
I wish I could find freedom
But I’m not sure where to look

Stuck in the motions with nothing to gain
Morbidly forcing myself into change
Don’t push me down again

Just a weak reflection and a cheap introspection
Discovery isn’t easy and now I’m brooding deeply

I had a dream that I was skateboarding
Like my life was fulfilling and rewarding
I had a dream that I was skateboarding
And it pushed me to keep on working

Constraints

Comfort controls my conscious decisions made to soon regret
And then I get discouraged, unnerved with a sense of shame

I’m trapped between security
No room for maturity
Am I still succeeding?
If it means that I’m still dreaming?
Compulsion to keep moving
But no impulse to get there
And my obsession with necessity
Is a failed fucking remedy

Waiting for a choice to make for a change
When I should be changing the choices I’m making
Longing for a way to write it all out
But I’m still trying to gather my thoughts

Is there any way to disengage?
I don’t like what I’ve been creating
Will I make the choice to change?
I can’t handle these constraints

And now I’ve lost
My clouded dreams are gone
And I am waiting around just to wait and fix it

I’ve strayed too far away
From the picturesque just to suppress
The loneliness and my distress
Now is it too late to undress
From the constraints that I possess

Apothecary

I heard about the apothecary
Who hid his face from all the people he buried

I went to see the apothecary
And I was just another subsidiary

He says I love you
He says you pay my rent
And then he fed me glue
Said it wasn’t my intent

I went to see the apothecary
And now my life is solitary

Realizing What’s Important (Changes Over Time)

I’m trying to remember
What you can’t recollect
But the salad days just fall short
I wonder if it’s easiest to forget?

I can see you struggling
Senescence has got you down
You aren't breaking free anymore
I probably won't see you around

And this has got to be the worst part of growing up
Stuck in between developmental stages with no plans on following up
What I like and what I need are two completely different things
And with the way it went with you I am not sure of anything

Will I realize what's important changes over time?
Will I throw in the towel and abandon what I've done?
Will you ever finish demoing the songs I've never sung?
And will you ever come back to where you grew up?

You're taking the hard way out
Another long walk home
I ask you what’s this about?
But none of your plans are your own

Nothing gets through to you now
And what's the difference with me?
Ill figure it out somehow
What things were meant to be

And I will realize what's important changes over time
And I will throw in the towel and abandon what I've done
Cause you'll never finish demoing the songs I've never sung
And you'll never come back to where you grew up

Write one more verse
Don't go to work
This is your last chance before we disperse

Calling Off

I’m Calling Off

Call off work
You gotta get away
Push back your essays to another day
Just chill out
Put on some records today
Maybe sooner or later you’ll be okay
I’m calling Andre today
We’ll spend all our money on video games
And I fucking hate my day-to-day
This shits gotta change

Push it out of your mind
We don’t have that kind of time

To spare
This nightmare isn’t going anywhere
And I don’t care
I’ll take off my underwear

Driving To Rapid City

Driving down this highway always reminds me
South Dakota isn't that far away
We'll pack up Max and Morgan in the back of the van
We'll drive as fucking far as we fucking can

Dreaming of the day we'll take the Greyhound
I've heard about it in the songs we listen to
To live or to exist is a question I've dismissed
Over and over again

Can we run?
As far away as we fucking can
Let’s get off 57 and we'll do it over again
Can we stop?
I'm wasting all my fucking time
And if I can't get better then I've got to get away

And I still think of the days
When I sat in my room just to get away
I'm moving on
I'm trying to
Giving up is getting farther away

June

My voice is giving out now
Giving out like my willpower
I can’t excuse the damage I have done
You told me it was time to stop
I won’t deny the clock is ticking
But what’s a clock that I choose not to read?

I’m doing the lord’s work healing mind body and spirit
It just happens to involve the use of fingers and a toilet
So what if I can’t sing and my heart hurts occasionally
What’s a heart supposed to mean to me?

June, Don’t tell me what to do
June, I can’t wait till you’re through
June, I would wait for you

Cut my throat so you can finally fix me
Call me pretty so that I can be okay

Shut the door and look away
You never wanted to know anyway

Two Part Plan

No mistakes
Just an epitaph and memory
Don’t pick me up
I don’t want empathy

Two-part plan I read from stone tablets in my mind
Engrained, permanent but soon to end
Part one is just to set things up and two’s to follow through
Now I am condemned and just left to pretend

No more friends
No laughs
No holding hands

I think about the things I say
Thoughts that never change
I can’t keep living this way

Two-part plan I read from the scriptures I’ve inscribed
Working on the act now just as I’ve described
Part one is just to set things up and two’s to follow through
Now my work is done goodbye everyone

Evacuation

Sitting quietly, uncomfortably
In a room with many narrow halls
Intrinsically questioning down which path
Which one should I take today?

A tapered corridor to a dark room
Or a passageway to the end
Solely relying on anticipations
Everything that I wish could be

I’m wandering again
I am wandering away

Waters drying in the drain
It’s time to evacuate
Clear out
Take away
Everything you have to gain
Let’s shout
No delay
It’s time to evacuate

Walking soon turns into running
And footstep echoes fade away
My skewed perception keeps me asking
I’m asking myself again
Why am I wandering away?

I can’t clean up the mess that I have made
It’s time to evacuate
Clear out
Take away
Everything that’s left in vain
En route
This way
It’s time to evacuate

And I’m asking myself again
Was it a good idea to stay?

Safety Net

I’m fighting a constant battle
Against my need to be the worst
I’d hurt anyone to be it
The worst version of myself

It’s looming in the shadows
It’s haunting in the daylight

I went backwards knowingly
Step by step to the ledge
Where I threw myself off willingly
Into the arms of my safety net

Took a look around and saw someone I didn't have to be
Seeping through stories like noxious gas
What happened to my sympathy?

Third Degree

How predictable can I be?
I’m accustomed to the fucking third degree

Is there anything left to see?
I’m accustomed to the fucking third degree

Missing Pieces

A wild look in our eyes
While we’re dosed up with glee
Scars are melting away
And it's just you and me
But now I’m throwing a fit
You're thinking please not again
And you can’t help but look at me with distaste

You can wait
You can cry
You can pray
You can hide

But the ugly little kid inside will never ever die
Because no one ever told them how it is

Flames eat down the candle wax
Don’t stress beams that can't be patched
Who stole all your missing pieces?
What will it take to be whole?

I will take responsibility to show you I care my friend
I'll come crawling back with humility if we can laugh together again

I won't wait
I won't cry
I won't pray
I won't hide

For the ugly little kid inside of me to finally die
I will take them by the hand and say

Maybe someone ruined you
But at a certain point life’s what you choose
Maybe it's time to change your point of view
And swallow your pride

Ponyoak
i am a huge fan of kgw

Slice of Life

Can I just take some time to take in all shit that I have seen?
I cannot keep on living in these recurring dreams
So quick to quit, so fast to fall
I can’t just go ignore it all

So fucking sick of all the times I tried to write my songs
Although I guess it’s helped me to just barely scrape along
My moments gone, my story’s lost
I can’t keep count of the lines I’ve crossed
I'm moving on, I’m almost gone
From everything I’ve left to rot

Pick it up and take some time to think
I’ll cut a new slice I’ll roll the dice
Keep count until I reach success
I’ll cut a new slice I’ll roll the dice

To Kimball

I've got a list of bad decisions
That we should make before we go to prison
Like robbing banks and going to college
Together this is our volition
To travel all across the earth
From town to town to places adverse
We won’t have to worry
About our selections

So let's travel in the wrong direction
I'm sorry I'm full of imperfections
But you like me and I like you too
So let's just gaze at our reflections
In the windows of this train
Through city lights and intersections
We won't have to worry
About our selections

And maybe baby we will find out true north
And maybe one day we wont worry about what's to come
And maybe baby we will end up just fine
We will end up just fine

Streaming Below!!!! :D

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